Another year went by and as I appeared for the Mains 2015, I again felt disappointed in myself for not being able to get a confident handle on the demand of the exam. But one finds comfort in the often heard opinion among aspirants, that one can never actually own the exam. One can only enduringly try to.
I cant say I am clairvoyant on all matters, but when it comes to exams, I get a feeling on the outcome. This year, I have a positive feeling and it is not the kind of wishful thinking that I felt last year. But this analysis focusing on exam does not help, as more than often, the result is a surprise. The only question that remains for many, is "Why continue?"
I too was one of those who said, "boss, bas do hi attempt dega, fir kat lega" but now after the exam process has tempered my bravado, I realized the true end to be achieved. That is, public service. The amount of good that one can do through the civil services is substantial compared to the arm chair cynicism or charity. The noble cause of standing up for the right gives purpose and the strength to persevere through the whole process of "gole maro" or prelims and "jaldi likho" or mains and "abey kya bol raha hai?" or interview :)
I wish the best to all comrades who are in this journey towards Normandy. The actual task starts at the shore and there is much work to do after that. But till we touch the shores, lets not get scared by the distractions of fear, attachment or even desire. Lets patiently sharpen our bayonets...
