Interview diaries 3

My interview was on 1 April 2016, forenoon. I have never felt so much of pressure before in my life. I had appeared for many job interviews in college. Many presentations during my job. I have been grilled many times in life, but somehow I could not stay cool in days before my interview.

I wont be writing my complete transcript, as most of the questions were very much drawn from my DAF and followed from the leads that came up in my answer or from that day's newspaper headlines.

So, largely my subject preparation and random stats ratta was a total waste of time. It came back to sponti maarna.., at which I thought/think am pretty good. But that day I gave many answers below my potential. I must say that the "mock" interviews add to duress and harden concepts, which makes it difficult to think on your feet in the room at upsc. Besides, one is always trying to come up with the "best" answer instead of the natural answer. I feel bad because many of my answers were bit doctored, so after coming out I felt dissatisfied, as the board could not see my natural honest self. 

They might have perceived a scheming guy trying to be smart.

From the mains result to interview date, I could realize my IQ dipping, as I became a dispenser of random facts about India, Maharashtra and Jalgaon, Budget, Govt schemes etc. I consider my prep stage before mains as a peak from which I had been constantly slipping down to pedestrian level of analysis/thinking. Perhaps this was adding to the pressure that mounted in the end.

Further, looking at the transcripts, I thought I would get a chance to highlight my knowledge in various aspects like sci-tech, polity, IR, society, my optional/degree subject. Instead most of my interview wasnt deep. There were no follow up questions, unlike Ive seen in so many transcripts. So, I felt as if these guys were just gauging if I had basic awareness. No chance to highlight analysis etc, I felt like a goof when I came out.

The dies have been cast, arrow has left the bow, etc etc, so no point worrying now. If there is any takeaway from my experience, it would be that one must not forget the purpose of preparation(to serve the poor, which surprisingly no one seems to believe) and stay true to it and keep working, instead of trying to be smart with the process.

Lets get back to the pits and prepare for next round.